. . . Contd #4
What is it that I have found here? My my my. What kind of a person I was ad what is it I am now? What is it I am learning and what is it I am becoming? Where is the strange savagery that would lead my footsteps into a rudderless and chaotic oblivion. There always was an importance for the smiles, laughter and happiness, but when did it become the most important thing? Like, yes of course, since the beginning, the most important deal has always been with the Devil that smiles would bloom and laughter rumbles from the people with whom I stay. But then, there always has been a certain amount of detachment when I was doing all that. I am asking myself where has that gone?
It always is a greed if we want to remember all the things that are happening around us, even though they are really happy things. We aren’t provided with that facility to remember all the hings, right? But we humans have found out the loop-hole. A virtual record of our memory – writing! It has become so precise that we can record all the things that are happening just as they are happening. And I am using it as a devise now. I am not able to fill in all the details of all the incidents that are happening but, yeah, a memory is good enough, I don’t want to get into it again and manipulate the facts with an artistic head.
Just now, I heard Eshwar sir saying, “We still have 23 more classes for 10th sir,” haha, he was concerned regarding how we have to pan the revision plan and all. I am not that big, I am not matured, I am not a grown up, the only thought I got in my head was how I would be loosing all my new friends. Then again I realize I am not a teacher. Nah! This academic year is going to end. 2018 has just now ended, it didn’t make much difference for me, but then, this academic year ending will surely make a great difference. I will become a roguish wanderer again. I will thank these people for leaving all these emotions as long as I have the memory of it; to have the memory of it, I am recording all this.
What is it I am going to do next, I know not. I have just initiated two new blogs; one for Book Reviews and one for Rumi’s Poetry. My interest towards reading literature again is growing into an obsession. Is it a self-defense mechanism? Am I getting myself ready to fill my mind and escape from the inevitable emptiness that will fill my life and mind after I leave this place? I can’t judge. Am I going to crack NET next time, I can’t say. Will I get qualified in JL, DL or PL in the upcoming exams? I am pretty sure the chances are ZERO; people with better qualification, better experience, better expertise, and, hm, people who are really better teachers will be in the line. With my ‘open mind,’ ‘always-laugh-out-and-be-joyful’ mentality, I can make people happy, but not crack GOVT exams. Of course, people with heavy suitcases will also be standing behind the offices to but them! I can’t match them too. Then what to do?
The book is out: Dark Side of The Coin, I never really expected that to make me popular or rich, no and it too didn’t. But surely it paved me a path to be better and t surely has opened a few door regarding what to do and how to do tings. I should be going into writing, if you ask me, yes, I should be going into Magazine or News Papers or into Publishing Houses seeking a job. Irrespective of the pay I get, I should be ready to accept a minimal pay and stay there, just to build contacts and get a closer shot for the main-stream publishing industry. It will destroy the ideal idea of my life which my dad has, but still, that is how it should be done and yeah, it will be done. Hm. Wick, life is going to really tough. People are going to leave. Things are going to break. You are going to grow weak. Hm. Words are the only things that will belief with you. My my my, the winter is coming, Wick, embrace yourself. Love words, only they will save you.
Alright, alright, alright, enough of me, let’s go to The School!
1. The Rain of Chocolates
That day, I wanted t celebrate. No particular reason for that. Just like I answered Sakshi when she asked me later why, yes, the celebration because we are all together. What’s more? Even if you say something I will tread it down. Being together and being happy together is everything. So, because we are all together, and we are very very happy together, I wanted to celebrate. Not just with 10th D2, but also with 8th D3. So, I bought 100 perks and took them to school. 51 for 10th D2 and 42 for 8th D3 and I thought I will give a few to Roja, which I did or not, I am not so sure.
In the morning, in the first class, I went to 8th D3 and then, I opened the fire. I threw chocolates in the class calling random names one after the other. That was a chocolate rain in the class. With the josh of it, I went to my class in the sixth hour. A total chocolate rain. I made chocolates rain in the class for five minutes. My god. Look at those faces of surprise and excitement. I will never forget the moment. Standing on the elevated stage in the class, when they were staring at me with their lips wide spread, in the middle of their excited screams, I took myself as a god of chocolates who is raining them on the students.
The next day, hahahahaa, my students are not pretty normal you see – Making me stand on the stage, they rained chocolates over me! My, my, my.
2. The Adjectives
It was Keerthi’s and Sravya’s idea, that I should give each of them an adjective that wold describe them. They asked me to do it for The Children’s Day. I know everyone of them really really well. That’s not a big deal for me. But i couldn’t find time nearly for the next half month and then, when they were about to get totally vexed, I took adjectives for them to the class. They were excited. I tried to give as aptly as possible for them. There are a few adjectives which I will remember for very long. Behemoth, The Broken Image, A Blizzard, and adjectives which I gave to Sri Priya and Yeshwanth are with heart, but I am not able to recollect the exact words. The Most Reliable, A Gentleman, Passionate, Man in a Shining Armour, hahaha, The Mischievous Imp, many many more. It made all of them happy, excited. And looking at them like that felt really good. if my memory is fit, Sri Priya is the first one who came forward asking me to sign on the slip on which I wrote the adjective, and after that, I signed all the next 50!
The best part is not just that. My class, whatever is taken, gives back. There is no doubt in that. The moment I was done with distributing all the adjectives, there were screams, “You, the legend!” it was Ahmed, I can know. “No, a Demigod,” it certainly should be Sri Priya, for I can look it in her eyes, what I am to her. like this there were screams, but there was one girl, who got the pulse right. That moment she was silent, but the next day, she came to me, with a similar kind of a slip which I gave to them. Along with it, she gave a chocolate. She asked me to open when I go to staff-room or something. I was eager. I went to my cabin and when I opened it, it was written: “The Conqueror,” I was surprised. Before I can question myself, I saw the explanation given by her. “Conqueror: The one who conquers ll the hearts around him,” hahaha, can you imagine my face. My my my, Keerthi already is one of the finest girl’s I have met, and she will be more finer slowly with time. And, yes, I called her, The Great Cynic in her adjective slip, and you should know her, she really is!
3. The Instance
Among many things that has happened at the school, there is one thing that will stay with me for a very long time and is the words which Sri Priya said subconsciously.
That was a time when I was pretty low. Roja too was trying to cheer my spirits up. But I was tired for some unknown reason. I was not able to find a proper inspiration to cheer myself up. Hm, I was suddenly low being a strong base for too many people. I thought I cannot hold all these people anymore. I thought I will leave up everyone and be alone and will not interfere with anyone’s affairs. That will make a few people really feel bad and helpless, but then, I was not able to handle that. I almost became selfish and though like, “many are living, my presence making their lives better is a myth. It will all be the same even if I am not there,” and all such things. With such a mind, one day, I went to the class:
Just the day before I changed Shreeya’s place and Likitha’s place. Shreeya wants to sit elsewhere and she was pretty stubborn at it. But if I have to do all the alterations, Sri Priya is the one who should pay the price by loosing and place and going to some other place, leaving her friends. But I know, she is a really sweet girl. I called Sri Priya and I begun slowly, thinking how to convince this girl. “So, Sri Priya, don’t know how to put it before you,” I am a pretty stumbling person. “Shreeya wants to sit in your place. . .” before I could say it completely, with a really beautiful blooming smile, “Oh yes sir, that is fine,” was her answer. Her heart on her face. I was awestruck. Shreeya, who heard this was excited and Likitha too was excited and everyone started changing places immediately. Still in surprise, I asked, “Why? Why did you agree so easily?” then she said, like it is an obvious thing: “Two people will be happy because of me, what more should be done?” That little girl said that. Hm, then I remembered again: people will be HAPPY because of ME. What else can be done by me? She became an inspiration for me with such a little-seeming-noble-deed. Hm, I held my spirits up again, and they never went low since then.
Ah, this is nothing to talk about. I am mentioning this just not to forget this and to keep up the spirit of a claimed “journal” by not excluding sour events. We got a little mischievous imp in the class: Deeksha Chopra. Haha. She gets the hell loose onto the class. She started teasing Lakshmi, a really really nice girl, rumoring about her and all. It was all blah blah blah she does. But it became very serious when it came out and it brought a really bad name to the class. Of course, again we started the repairing things, and they are going on well. But Deeksha, I am pretty sure will carry more memories than anyone from the class. The deeds she did and does, they should not be named too! She really is an imp, but from hell.
5. The Offer – The Request
One day, I was standing at the school’s office when the children were leaving in the evening, and then came Dohya. Dohya, I mentioned many many times, is as sweet as my own sister. She came with her heavy bag and all. Gazing through her big round spectacles, she stood before me. It always is a pleasure to talk to her. I wished her with the genial smile and asked her what the matter was. She struggled for a while. “You did a lot to me, to all of us,” she said, and that one sentence made the moment most memorable. Likitha Varma is her best friend and I helped her to stand on that decision. Every time she was under a moral struggle, somehow Dohya finds me and somehow I help her to resolve it. I said, “Okay, alright, I am glad I am able to help you all,” but Dohya has a peculiar way of expressing. Whatever she likes to express, she wants to express it properly, with emotions and intensity. She struggled again and said, finding the proper words and forming it into a sentence, “I want to do something in return to you, anything, it might be anything, I want to do.” Hm, I took one deep breath and promised her that I will ask her what o do for me when time really comes.
A month after, the time has come. That day, I went to the class and finished my day agenda in 20 minutes. The next 25 minutes, hm, I talked about hunger. I talked of how children are dying of starvation. Hm, I talked of how many children are dying and then at the end, I made them give me a word that they will all be ‘good’ citizens and work for the society and help people to have better lives. I made them promise that they will be in great positions where they will have power enough to help people who are in need. With teary eyes and heavy hearts, with genuine emotions, they made the promise. And if at least one becomes a person who would help people remembering my words, I place all the credit in Dohya’s hands, who else could have moved me to say all that in the class if not for her?
6. Julius Caesar – The Revival Star of Roman Empire
The instance when I was given the tenth class text book at the beginning of the year, I was excited about Caesar to the children and I was pretty much excited about how I am going to deliver Mark Antony’s most famous speech. It has become an ambition of mine to move children with the tragic end of the great Caesar.
Before beginning Caesar, I took five classes talking of all the ancient Empires of Egypt, India, Persia, Greece and Rome and their greatness. I also gave them glimpses of how mythology works the same in both Indian and Western countries. After quite mesmerizing them, I brought them to the story of Caesar. How he was born, how he rose into power, how he manipulated everyone on his way, entry of Cleopatra, the end of Pompey and Caesar raising into power. But I saved the end of Caesar for the greatest storyteller of all time – William Demigod Shakespeare!
I took five days to explain two scenes (Act 2, Scene 3 and Act 3, Scene 3). I bellowed all the dialogues, hm, sometimes they filled my own eyes with tears, we were all moved with emotions, we cried, “Revenge!” when Antony enraged us all. That has become a terrific emotion which I will carry for a very long time. Julius Caesar has made a beautiful memory to me, or Shakespeare has shown his effect on my life too. Hahaha!
7. The Eighth D3
It might be anything, there are many students in Eighth D3, whom I would not forger. IT took some time to get tune with the class, but after I did, I started making some good classes there. The welcoming faces are something I would not forget. The way a few love me in the class is nothing short to 10 D2. The most graceful moment would be when Mukthi threatened me that she will cry if leave the school. Haha. I sure am lucky to have lovely and laving students, am I not?
The Abstract “Rubbish”:
It is an innovative method for me to make list of memories: I don’t want to miss any of these. But not just these, there are a thousand things that happen everyday. Ahmed’s and Vignesh’s rubbish in the class. The fruits and dry fruits (especially the star fruit) that Ahmed brings, yes, the chocolates too, and the way they call me to their place to share their rubbish (pure rubbish jokes) is something I will cherish every time.
Abishek Ratho used to be pretty hyper in the class, but these days he is being dull, which I should be taking care of. Keeping Ratho’s last bench group aside, Happy (Venu Gopal) and his team in the first benchs is a relieving sight to see. They, along with sagacious Janaki Ram and dexterous Sanjay, are all pleasant people to be with and their rational sense is really high. I really like the presence of Janaki Ram in the class for some reason. With all these Jyothir Aditya amazes me all the time with his amazing mythical sense, answering most of the questions I pose from mythology, both Hindu and Abraham. Along with such people there sits Rohan, the most troublesome person in the classroom.
The class has become so and so and so happy, that the complaint against the class has become that “10D2 is a happy class,” hahaha, I am glad, my class is the happiest of all. Of course, their happiness is a bit offensive. But then, Beckett has already said it: tears in this world are constant. Let others take the tears if it come to that matter; let us be happy. But being humble, I requested them to pay the respect people really deserve and they nodded enthusiastically, but I am pretty sure, they will forget the next day!
Actually, I am a reason for it. I always keep them happy or try to keep them. there are a ton incidents where I left the class without teaching anything just because they requested. There are a thousand instances when I stopped the class in middle just because they asked me to. It is not like I am letting them rive the class, no. It is more of I believe them and their judgement. I am making them practice judgement taking. The crucial moments, they can sense ad at such times, even if I urge them not to have a class, they will force me that I should teach them the topic and finish it in a deadline they give. Keerthi – The Great Cynic – stands front in opposing my mindless decisions. Rishita never lets me talk rubbish in the class or lets the class go astray. Sakshi never lets me skip an intricate topic without clearing it up properly. In my class, I can proudly boast that, nothing ever goes wrong. They will not let anything go wrong. Array, they are freaking awesome re, basically, they are the best beings possible! NO COMPLAINTS! That’s all!
It is me who becomes childish sometimes to see them happy. Sometimes, I give them a ten minute break to make fun, to have good time, to break hell loose. When the sound slowly grows, I bellow “Silence,” no, they will not listen to me, I bellow again, “Slowly,” they won’t. Why will they? They are my children. They will listen to no one. Then, I start clapping. By the seventh clap, the class becomes pin-drop-silent (in traditional sense) then I’ll say, “Start again!” they start again.
In my class, there are two Trios who break the hell loose. The first trio: Keerthi, Shreeya and Gunjan. When they talk, they can cloud up the sound even of a theater. Then, the second trio: Govardini, Roshini and Shreeja. They make the class unbearable, but at the same time, they are like the happy-blossoms of the class. They define the level of joy in the class.
I they are really happy for the ten minutes I give, then, I, being impressed will lean front and will say with a smile: “For you are happy for ten minutes, take another ten to be happy again!”
Then, the happiness they hold sounds like a thundering laughter in my ears! It inspires me to forget everything and all my failures and be a better person again.
. . . Cntd #6