The Cosmic Accident – The Three Arrows of The Lord #1

“प्रपञ्चसृष्  ट्युन्मुखला  सयकायी  समस्तसा  महारकताण्डवाया  |

जगज्जनन्यै  जगदेकपित्रे  नमः  शिवायै  च   नमः  शिवाय  || “

“Prapancha srushtyun muka lasyakayai,

Samastha samharaka thandavaya,

Jagat jananyai Jagatheka pithre,

Nama Shivayai cha namashivaya.”

“My salutations to both Parvathi and Shiva,

To Her whose dance marks the creation of the world,

To Him whose dance destroys everything,

To Her who is the mother of the universe,

To Him who is the father of the universe.”

“I, the device, bow down to the Father and Mother of the universe, who as a single magnanimity stands before me.”

The Tale:

{I will not even try to describe what’s on my mind. I will try to keep it as simple as I can. I am not just to describe a thing like that.}

Prologue:

On the heavenly mountains of Kailash, a figure was sitting in meditation. The creature is nothing like any other that is present in the nature. The creature is half a man and half a woman. A white bull is resting just beside the creature and there was a trident stiff on land on the other side. The creature should be a fierce hunter, for the trident looked dangerous and heavy.

The creature, which is half a man and half a woman is highly complex to even understand how to describe. The hair of the man part is black as night, or night itself turned into hair, while the hair of the woman’s part is glowing like gold, like sun light, may be the first rays of sun. Over the head of the man, a half-crescent moon was dangling, while behind the woman, a radiant solar glow was blinding. Over the man’s shoulder, arms and legs, snakes were creeping like its their home and over the woman’s body, the finest ornaments in the universe were decored, like they were designed by Viswakarman himself, the architect of the universe. The ankle of the man was rounded by an old copper bracelet of rough edges, while the ankles of the woman were ornamented by beautiful, shiny anklets which seemed like they might give the music of life to the wold if moved.

The man looked fierce, with his dark brows, never-ending mat-hair (jata), body smeared with burning ash. The woman looked radiant and mesmerising, with her pleasant facial assets.

Oh my god, too many differences to stay together. But they have merged so much, they became one.

Part 1 – She:

{Somewhere very far from ‘He’}

Tremendous tremors of that trembling head is not new. She has been shaking, shivering and shuddering since she was just a half in her today’s age. She closed her eyes. They were marked by the weakness of her shattered soul. “Save me from this pain,” she said with her lips slightly parted, quivering.

The Shiv-ling was sitting before her, in the inner alter of the temple. Once, in her childhood, she was a very strong disciple of any God, slowly she started loosing faith. Not faith in God particularly, but “faith” in general. Nothing good is visible. No nice things are happening around her. Or, that’s what she thinks. There’s no one with whom she can say this. There are none who can say that it is not true. There is no one to ask her to hold up with faith. None to temple the hope that’s flickering. Not really her mistake.

She opened her eyes. She was in a temple, that is the only reason she was not bursting out. She has a deep desire to sink down to the ground and cry till she’s done with her tears. She wanted to explain herself to The Lord who was sitting before her in serenity, detachment and peace. She held a false hope that he’d listen and come down to help her. Who else would listen? Who lese would understand even though they have listened? Family would be frightened. Friends would try to make her problems seem little. But they were not. No. They are not.

Exhausted.

Will tomorrow be there? Will the night pass? If there is a tomorrow, would it be better than today? If the night passes, will the sun shine on a more brighter face? Will the new day bring a new smile, or should she be wearing the same worn out old fake smile? She heaved. Is breathing that important? Can’t she just cease it? Yeah, if not just for the crave to cross this off and have a beautiful life, she can.

Tired.

People demanding to talk, smile, entertain, love and be animated. Hm. How can that happen when she wants to sit silently in a corner with her eyes closed? Is her head fine? Can she feel all the emotions a girl of her age feels? She doesn’t even know. Can she smile from the inside? Is she capable to love someone? When will the burden lift off from her throat and lighten her head? Will it ever? Can she live without it or is she addicted to the pain? She cannot answer.

Worn-out.

She hasn’t done anything wrong. No. She hasn’t suffered anyone. She, consciously, caused pain neither to a friend nor a foe. Her heart wouldn’t let her be angry even on a child. Why her? That’s what she has been asking since she found out the wrongs in her head. “Why me?” Silence.

She doesn’t remember how the previous night has passed. Instead she remembers every moment of the night that has passed. Are nights going longer and longer? Hope of being better, wish to be alive, trails not to be pessimistic are seeming worthless. Will ever time repair her? Is she repairable? What is it that is broken to get it fixed? Is there something like being fixed or is it all about living the life till death pondering over these questions?

“Why me?” she asked looking straight at the Shiv-ling. “I never caused pain to anyone,” she was saying, and her breaths gained pace, “I never really did nothing wrong,” her chin was in wrinkles, and her eyes started paining, from the tears from the back of those eyes started filling them again. “Why me?” this time, her voice was a bit louder, but eaten by the lump at her throat and shivers of her lower jaw. The harder she tried to control her sobs, the more stronger they become. The more pain she swallows in, the more heavier it becomes at the heart. She tried not to let any tear off. If someone sees it, they might probe her to talk of herself. If she talks, they mill dismiss. Keeping the pain in is better, than to explain it and getting it dismissed when we hope it would be taken care of.

Care, ha, keep it aside. Don’t brush it off, that will be fine enough. Don’t talk like it is something you were wearing all your life. It is mine, not yours. Only I know how painful the stabs of it will be, not you.

I don’t know if she will be that aggressive. She is too drained up to be angry. Mostly, she’ll feel more bad. She’ll feel hopeless and may be she’ll add a couple of tear drops when she cries.

Is this going to be a phase or is this how the whole life is going to be? She is not any other girl. She is a girl with higher aspirations. The seeds of nobility, honour and just were sown since the childhood. She wants to help people. In the comfort of people she would like to find her peace. The royalty of the though of helping other, ah, the higher scales of nobility in it, how beautiful. Is it not the meaning of human life? Is it not the meaning of being a true disciple of God? Smiles on the faces of struggling people. She wants to help them to smile. But, who would help her to smile first?

“Won’t you help me, Shiva?”  She couldn’t hold it any loner, she asked at the end, leaving a tear drop from her eye, which fell straight on the floor of the temple, which would be cleaned in the evening. “You are the one takes care of anyone who is not cared. Shive, wouldn’t you take carte of me? Wouldn’t you make me normal and happy?” But, it has fallen, and the girl, without knowing, has opened something large. “Shiva?”

Part 2 – Kailasa:

There was an avalanche over the mountains of Kailash. The shrunken lips of the creature, on the woman’s side, spread into a smile. “She has called upon you,” the man’s half was the same, there was no movement. It looked like he was dead. A beautiful and radiant feminine voice evolved out of the creature. “Do not say you are not listening,” it said. The bull which was resting beside the creature sat upright; panicked. The voice waited for a reply which she didn’t get even after a while. “Boothanatha, Samba Shiva, Shambo Sada Shiva,” she was speaking again, “Is it not time?”

He was infinite years away. To open the eye, it might consume the energy that requires to create a universe. He has taken up the Brahmanda into him and safeguarding it through his yogic trance. But it was his wife who has called him, he has to wake up. With earth trembling, sun brightening up, moon cracking, he has opened his eye, along with hers.

“Kaala takes care of what has to be done,” he said, in a serene, but loving voice. “Why so anxious, Devi?”

“She is pleading you,” Devi said, “She is your daughter, wouldn’t you take care? She is asking you to.”

“What is it you don’t know about me that you are questioning about?” it felt like a chuckle.

“You are Kaala, Kaala-anthaka, Kaala-ateetha,” her voice was assertive. “Do not say me you are not moved.” The creature was sitting still with open eyes, without moving the lips, the voices were just speaking out. “She is there to do your work,” she said, like reminding him. “God’s work.”

“I know.”

“Then, fix her to let the work be done. There are not so many who are being sent to do God’s work. Who are sent, are not staying in the path. Who are staying in the path, what wrong is it to help them?”

Kaala laughed, “Oh the heavenly mother, from whose dance this universe is created for me to destroy with the dance of mine! If you say so, yes, we shall help her ourselves.”

“Will you walk on earth again in your form?” she seemed happy with the idea.

He laughed again, “No. There is no need of us going down,” he said, like he was thinking of something. “Let a human do this for us.”

“One of our Ganas on Earth?”

He nodded his head.

Part 3 – He:

{Somewhere very far from ‘She’}

“Come on Gana, come on,” she was pacing all over the room. “They said the results will be out at 12:30, it is already 12:35,”

“Shut up Vaani,” her mother scorned. “Don’t be so anxious, there is no need to be so much tensed. You should be ready even to take hard times.”

Gana laughed at it, “That is fine aunty ji,” he said, in his deep voice. “There will be a bit of tension, she really prepared well.” he turned towards the girl. “Vaani, be patient,” he said, with his eyebrows arched; looking confident to fill confidence in her. “It is all going to be fine. You di great in the exams and we have corrected the key. Possibly nothing is going to go wrong.”

Vaani has been preparing for her MBA exams and Gana has been helping her since the past six months. Gana likes it; helping people to achieve their dreams. He has done a lot like this. This is nothing new to him. Someone asking him a help, he would stay they have done what they wished to do. Not that he always succeeds in helping them, but, yes, he always gives his best to do what he can.

What has Gana achieved in his life? Nothing. Nothing at all. Trust of a few people, some cheers, a bit of momentary love and tons of invitations from different houses for functions and everything. Apart from these he has achieved nothing. he never had time to do anything for him; heart to do anything for himself. He always years to workout something for others. He got his own dreams too, but, except for name-sake, he got no one who believes he can achieve his dreams.

The funny thing. . .: People ask him what his dream is only as a return question after he asks them what their dream is. Most of the people even don’t seem like remembering what his dream is. But Gana remembers all the dreams of everyone.

His sister loves Gana for that reason. For not giving upon anyone’s dream, ever. The Dream-Collector, Gana and his sister calls Gana. Anywhere he goes, he collects dreams. If there is anything at all he can do, he will do it.

“Gana,” Vani said, “Are you sure?” in the past six months many things have happened just like Gana predicted and there is no reason for Vaani not to believe him. “I am a bit anxious.”

“If you do properly ion the exam, everything will be well,” Vaani’s mother again scorned. She doesn’t like Vaani going for further education. But Vaani, with the help of her dad and with a little motivation of Gana has convinced her mother. But still she wasn’t whole-heartedly ready.

Gana laughed while Vaani glared at her mother, “Nah aunty,” he said, “she did all fine,” when he was still saying, Vaani’s little brother who was sitting before the system has screamed that the results were out.

Vaani got qualified. There were screams of happiness and laughs of joy, and hugs of gladness. Even her mother got emotional and kissed Vaani on her forehead congratulating her. Gana stayed at the house for the next fifteen minutes. There was a lot of celebration and lots of smiles.

When Gana was closing the gate and descending the steps, Vaani from behind the gate thanked him, “Without you, I don’t think I would have done this.” she said, genuinely.

“If not me, someone else might have helped you. It is not me Vaani, it is you.” he said with a smile and averted his eyes from Vaani to the house which was standing behind her. he knows, he might not go to that house again. It might seem harsh, but, there is no place for him in that house after the work is done.

Gana also knows this: the next days, they will be calling him up and inviting him to the little parties they will be having. They will be talking really good about him; how he has stood as a real help, how he has helped in which ways and all the stuff. But he knows this too; the words will fade away, the people will forget him, he’ll become a distinct person after a few days.

It is not like he wants to stick. But, it is not like he wants to be forgotten. The moments of love, he would bag them, but the same people who gives him love that day, would forget him after a month. They would just nod their head in a ‘hi’ if they find him on streets after a few months.

Gana enjoys the success of his friend even though he knows they forget him. It is not their fault. They have their own life. Just because he helps someone., there is no need for them to stick with him forever, isn’t it so? He has helped them to cross something and if he stops them after helping them cross it, what’s the meaning in helping them? He likes them. he understands them. he bags the little moments and saves them in his heart forever.

But Gana misses the people who forget him. They have passed some phase and they are the ones who move on, right? Gana stays in the same place without the person. After spending months and months with them, when they suddenly leave and disappear into their own world pinging just for the sake of pinging but without the warmth which they used to have once, hm, Gana misses them like anything. But he can’t say it out.

“Have a good time Vaani, be careful at the new place,” he said leaving.

“Come on Gana,” Vaani said in an excited tone, “You will be always there to help me right. You might not be there, but we wills always stay in touch. I don’t like to miss you.”

But she wouldn’t stay in touch after a few days, Gana knows it, but he didn’t want to argue with the happy girl. He showed his thumbs up. After going to the new place, she forgot him in a week. It took her more than a couple of days to reply his single message enquiring her well-being. That feels hurting for him, but he never says it out. No. Gana never says it out. Not her mistake, she got a world and people. Hm.

Part 4 – Kailasa:

“Gana?” she asked, reading the thoughts of her other half.

“Yes,” he said.

“Do not you think if Gana is emotionally exhausted? he has been helping everyone around him. He is tired of being left behind.”

“He needs to learn how to seek peace from us,” He said determinedly. “Then everything will be fine for him.”

“But is he not a kid still?” the compassion of the mother cannot be described. “He has touched many lives till now.”

“He will go and touch this too,” he said. “He will help her.”

“What if he fails?”

“With him or without him, the girl is going to be fine. She is there on God’s work. To serve the needy. Nature itself will take care of her. But with Gana, she will have someone to talk, someone at whom she can be herself and she’ll have someone who believes her and who lets her unleash her potential. In the meanwhile everything will be set ready for her to become normal.”

“And then, he will be sent back?” she asked, but there was no answer. “He will be sent back again, to help someone else. Right? He is bound to this for his life? Is this fair?”

“What is fair and what is not, Devi?” this time, she didn’t answer. “He goes back or not, only time will answer. If he has to leave, he will, as always. If it is not so, he will stay.”

“The patience he has, may it help the girl to cure her pain.”

The creature of half man and half woman stood. The energy that has erupted was tremendous. With his hand raised to the sky, the man held a bow. Devi pulled three arrows from thin air.

With Him holding the bow, She aimed the first arrow. . .

“To form the wrinkle in the time and fates of this pair. . .” they said in unison and left the first arrow. It went at the speed of the light and disappeared somewhere. After a fraction of second, there was a cosmic wave across the universe. The jata of the man and the hair of the woman blew in a swish.

With Him holding the bow, She aimed the second arrow. . .

“To recognise each other not just as any other, but through a higher realm of spirits.” The second arrow was left. The same happened, and the earth panicked and trees shook.

With Him holding the bow, She aimed the second arrow. . .

“To have patience; for him to help, for her to get helped.” The third arrow left, this time the blow of the wind grazing all over the half man half woman creature.

“This will take care,” he said, while sitting again.

“I want to see how this is going to work,” Devi said, a little anxious.

“Oh mother of the universe and all that is sustaining here,” he said, “The God’s work shall be done. No one is going to hinder it. She is going to serve them with her generous heart. After all, she is the microcosmic manifestation of yours.”

“Gana?” she asked, like a concerned mother.

He smiled. “Everything is taken care of.”

{Author’s Note: This is an idea that has sprouted in this little, stupid head on 11th of this month (October), when things sprung back with double the speed they have left! Haha. Hm, When I asked if this is what has happened and when someone agreed this’s what they too think; felt like such an exciting thought. Surely this just is the first part. I think I will come up with the second part after an year or so.

What would you want the second part to be? If you have something to say, please. I would love to know.}

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